Sep 23, 2018

Stolen Bits of Time Turned Into a Lifetime Together Image Sujay Jaswa and Dr. Eleni Greenwood during their Hindu-Jewish celebration Sept. 9 at the Fairmont hotel in San Francisco. The couple’s wedding and reception was the day before at San Francisco City Hall.CreditCreditMarian Carrasquero for The New York Times By Louise Rafkin Sept. 21, 2018 Sujay Jaswa forged his stellar career in Silicon Valley by relying on timing, instinct, a gregarious personality and an affinity for calculated risks. But in late 2012, when the successful tech entrepreneur spotted Dr. Eleni Greenwood at a charity event for San Francisco’s young professionals, his act-smart moves vanished. Known for his ability to talk to anyone about everything, he was suddenly stumbling over a single syllable. “Whoa,” he said. Dr. Greenwood exuded charisma and confidence and was unaware of the effect she was having on the handsome man across the room. But when he saw Dr. Greenwood migrating to the bar, he grabbed a wingman and slid into the drink line behind her. “I was well aware that I am capable of screwing anything up,” said Mr. Jaswa, now 38, of his thinking at the time. Moments into a who-are-you-and-what-do-you-do exchange, Mr. Jaswa, who has a charming self-deprecating sense of humor and a full-bodied laugh, was convinced. “My thought was, ‘I’ve been waiting for Eleni all my life,’” he said. Image The couple celebrated their marriage with a weekend of festivities, including a baraat (the groom’s wedding celebration).CreditMarian Carrasquero for The New York Times But Dr. Greenwood, 33, who has flashing brown eyes, thought differently. “Sujay felt he was making progress, I felt it was an unremarkable encounter,” she said. “I asked for white wine, he bought me red, and I moved on.” Neither moved far. Their two groups of friends took over the dance floor. Mr. Jaswa’s intent was clear so he was surprised at night’s end when one of Dr. Greenwood’s friends threw her arms around him. “Too bad nothing’s going to happen with you and Eleni,” said Sasha Buscho. She explained her close friend had a longstanding beau on the East Coast. Mr. Jaswa’s happily-ever-after balloon burst like a dot-com bubble. “I could tell that I checked off Sujay’s ‘Indian boxes,’” said Dr. Greenwood referring to his obvious admiration of her educational credentials — and of her. Dr. Greenwood, possessed ambition and smarts in addition to poise, beauty and wit. Mr. Jaswa grew up in Saratoga, Calif., on the edge of Silicon Valley. His parents, Rajen and Kalpana Jaswa, both computer scientists, emigrated from India in the late 1970s and his father gained success as an early tech entrepreneur. The family held education in high regard, and Dr. Greenwood’s accomplishments were hard to best. Video A second ceremony was held the following afternoon, beginning at Huntington Park on Nob Hill. From there, Mr. Jaswa, riding a white horse and accompanied by drummers and a crowd of well wishers.Published On Sept. 21, 2018 Image The Hindu-Jewish ceremony on Sept. 9 began with the groom riding a horse from Huntington Park to the Fairmont hotel in San Francisco.CreditMarian Carrasquero for The New York Times In 2007, Dr. Greenwood completed both a bachelor’s degree in human biology and a master’s degree in biological science at Stanford in just four years with a G.P.A. of 4.17. After graduating from Weill Cornell Medical College, at the time of meeting Mr. Jaswa, she was starting a residency in obstetrics and gynecology at the University of California, San Francisco where she is now a fellow in reproductive endocrinology and infertility. Her father, Dr. Mark Greenwood, a retired pediatric dentist of Minneapolis, says his daughter always earned perfect grades. “Eleni is fierce and nothing if not determined,” he said. But his daughter’s drive was born from tragedy, he said. Dr. Greenwood’s mother died in 1991 from breast cancer when Dr. Greenwood was just 6. Both Dr. Greenwood, and her sister, Dr. Heather Greenwood, a radiologist who specializes in breast imaging also at UCSF say their commitment to women’s health came from watching their mother deal with cancer, traipsing in and out of hospitals at an early age. Image Before more than 500 family and friends, Rabbi Seth Castleman and Pandit Prabha Duneja, a Hindu priest, led intertwined Jewish and Hindu marriage rituals that underscored the similarities of the two religions and the couple’s shared values.CreditMarian Carrasquero for The New York Times Faced with a drastic loss, Dr. Greenwood took refuge in studying. “I saw I could use my brain to decide my future,” said Dr. Greenwood, whose sunny demeanor never dimmed. Mr. Jaswa, initially drawn by a radiant smile, was impressed by Dr. Greenwood’s academic résumé, especially her successes at Stanford. Mr. Jaswa also sported an impressive educational pedigree, having earned a bachelor’s degree in economics from Princeton in 2001 and an M.B.A. from Harvard in 2008, but he had been rejected at Stanford not once but three times. He now teaches at Stanford’s Graduate School of Business, a position, he jokes, which has assuaged some of his angst at having never been accepted there. After a series of false starts he had been single for years. His mother, Kalpana Jaswa had nearly given up hope for her eldest son’s marriage, though she’d given it her best effort and tried to set up him up many times. (A friend jokingly set up the domain GetSujayMarried.com, with the blessing of his parents.) But never had he met a woman so compelling. Despite Dr. Greenwood’s rebuff, Mr. Jaswa was undaunted. Image The couple kiss under the colorful huppah.CreditMarian Carrasquero for The New York Times He learned in his career that timing was everything. He had worked for a media streaming company that started too early to be profitable and founded a beverage company that never made a single sale. Yet he landed on time, and on the money, when he joined Dropbox in 2010 and was named chief financial officer in 2014. He left the company in June 2015 and is now a founder and partner, with Jeffrey Katzenberg and others, at WndrCo, an investment and holding company focused on media and technology. With Dr. Greenwood, Mr. Jaswa decided to play a long game. “But Sujay talked about Eleni way too much for a woman then in a relationship,” said Rahul Jaswa, his younger brother. Mr. Jaswa was strategic, and persistent. Occasionally he sent a text to Dr. Greenwood. (Sometimes it was just a single word, “Ola!” which she thought hilarious, though odd.) Their paths crossed rarely; Dr. Greenwood was often busy at the hospital. But by the end of 2013, distance had gutted Dr. Greenwood’s relationship and she entered 2014 newly single. That spring, she texted Mr. Jaswa the opening he had been not so patiently awaited: “What are you up to?” They volleyed witty texts, but Dr. Greenwood’s grueling schedule was such that she had a small window the next afternoon, then nothing for six weeks. Mr. Jaswa swiftly cleared his calendar and over a beverage and quick-witted conversation attempted to extend their meeting into dinner. Dr. Greenwood demurred. Image More than 500 friends and family attended the couple’s second celebration at the Fairmont hotel. About 300 went to the wedding and reception the previous day at San Francisco City Hall.CreditMarian Carrasquero for The New York Times She was working the night shift and there were babies to deliver. Mr. Jaswa, unwilling to lose his momentum, pluckily suggested the next open time — breakfast — to which Dr. Greenwood arrived in running clothes having jogged the seven miles from the hospital to the cafe after her 14-hour shift. Over champagne for her and coffee for him, their connection sparked. “Eleni is brilliant and has the vision to make the world a better place but she is also a riot, someone who is great to watch a football game with,” said Mr. Jaswa, who floated the idea of breakfast the following day, and the next, adding texts and calls to what quickly became a routine. “Sujay’s strategy was to make sure I had no time for anyone else, but I wasn’t in a hurry to get to my forever,” Dr. Greenwood said. Over the next few months, in the scraps of time left from demanding careers, they socialized often and traveled, including a trip to Morocco that deepened their commitment. Both admit to suffering from a fear of missing out, which meant Dr. Greenwood often went sleepless. (Multiple friends, however, testify that it is Mr. Jaswa who customarily falls asleep at parties, not Dr. Greenwood.) For his Christmas gift to her that first year, Mr. Jaswa founded the Robin Beth Greenwood Foundation for Breast Cancer Research at the University of California, San Francisco. The tribute confirmed to Dr. Greenwood that she had fallen in love with the right man. Image Dr. Greenwood changed dresses often and wore elaborately decorated lehengas by top Indian designers Sabyasachi Mukherjee and Abu Jani Sandeep Khosla.CreditMarian Carrasquero for The New York Times “Sujay is unthreatened by such an impressive woman,” Ms. Buscho said. “Because Eleni lost her mother, she has always been her own advocate, and very humble, but now she has Sujay as her biggest fan and cheerleader.” Mr. Jaswa planned a surprise proposal on a trip to Borobudur, a temple in Central Java, Indonesia, in April 2016. She tearfully and joyfully said yes. The following year, the couple traveled to India with Mr. Jaswa’s parents whose own arranged marriage had been celebrated there by 3,000 just days after they had been introduced in 1978. Mr. Jaswa, who was raised in the Hindu faith, imagined his own wedding would be an equally grand event. But as their guest list grew by the hundreds, Dr. Greenwood became uncomfortable. She was from a small Jewish family. She had always planned to have an intimate wedding, with the chance to honor the memory of the mother. Over the next year, they reached a compromise that encompassed what was most important for both. On Sept. 8 at San Francisco’s City Hall they were wed by Drew Houston, a friend and the chief executive and founder of Dropbox, who became a Universal Life minister. Before the couple exchanged vows, the 260 guests fell silent as a recording of Dr. Greenwood’s mother’s sonorous Midwestern voice filled the rotunda. Facing death, she had made tapes for her children and it was evident that she knew, even then, of her daughter’s gifts and the person she would become. “I was amazed at how quickly you learned things,” she told her daughter, “the world is a better place because you are fun, and delightful, compassionate, sensitive and wise.” Image The bride danced and also played drums.CreditMarian Carrasquero for The New York Times “I believe, too, that even after I am gone my love will reach you every day of your life,” she said. Few eyes remained dry. After the ceremony, guests, including Kanye West, Barbara Bush (a daughter of the former President George W. Bush), and Sen. Tim Kaine, Democrat of Virginia, enjoyed a vegetarian dinner and dancing and, later, an after-party featuring the D.J. Samantha Ronson. Video The bride jumped behind a drum kit at Saturday’s dinner, impressing guests after taking only four lessons.Published On Sept. 21, 2018 A second ceremony was held the following afternoon, also in San Francisco, beginning at Huntington Park on Nob Hill. From there, Mr. Jaswa, riding a white horse and accompanied by drummers and a crowd of well wishers, went to the nearby Fairmont San Francisco Hotel, where another ceremony began. Before more than 500 family and friends, Rabbi Seth Castleman and Pandit Prabha Duneja, a Hindu priest, led intertwined Jewish and Hindu marriage rituals that underscored the similarities of the two religions and the couple’s shared values of family, friendship and charitable deeds. “This is where America is going,” said Rabbi Castleman invoking the diverse crowd; the Hindu priest deemed the guests “the global family.” At the reception, the crowd swarmed the dance floor as Bollywood music played. Toasts and roasts delayed dinner by hours, but no one minded, including the groom’s mother, who had waited years already for her son’s wedding. Her smile never faded during the week’s marathon of wedding activities. “Finally,” she said, sighing. “Finally.” On This Day Where San Francisco’s City Hall and the Fairmont San Francisco Hotel Guests Dressed the Part The request for Indian fashion at both ceremonies was respected by most, including Dr. Greenwood’s Minnesotan relatives whose concern about cultural appropriation fell away as they heeded the instruction “go bold and go bright.” The Bride Outshone All Both days, Dr. Greenwood changed costumes often and wore elaborately decorated lehengas by top Indian designers Sabyasachi Mukherjee and Abu Jani Sandeep Khosla that featured bare midriffs and drew appreciative gasps from the crowd. Luminaries Tech superstars were everywhere and included Ben Horowitz from the venture capital firm Andresseen Horowitz. In a toast on Saturday, the film mogul Jeffery Katzenberg, founder of DreamWorks Animation and Mr. Jaswa’s current business partner, joked the weekend was being filmed for a movie called “Crazy Rich Indians.” Tradition Vegetarian food served reflected the groom’s convictions and religious upbringing. True to Indian custom, the groom’s shoes were stolen during Sunday’s ceremonies and held for a ransom that was dictated by his brother to be $15,000 for breast cancer research, an act of charity that was doubled by a donation from another guest. Beating all The bride jumped behind a drum kit at Saturday’s dinner, wowing her guests after taking only four lessons. Continue following our fashion and lifestyle coverage on Facebook ( Styles and Modern Love) , Twitter ( Styles, Fashion , and Vows) and Instagram . A version of this article appears in print on , on Page ST13 of the New York edition with the headline: If at First You Don’t Succeed, Text, Text Again. 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